Doves are a universal symbol of peace, unconditional love and spiritual connection. In Christian iconography, it is an emblem of the Holy Spirit. So in visions, it can stand for the Holy Spirit, angels or guides, though it usually shows up as the white dove of peace. Gray is a color of confusion or uncertainty though, so in this case, I think your guardian angel or guiding spirit is trying to get through to you, and you are either uncertain of your visions or you have not been paying attention.
I really love Doreen Virtue's writings on angels. I highly recommend any of her books, especially the Connecting With Your Angels Kit or Divine Guidance : How to Have a Dialogue with God and Your Guardian Angels. In the meantime, I highly suggest that you start writing down your dream and vision experiences in a journal. Do daily or twice daily meditations. Just listen and pay attention to the messages, coincidences and impressions that come to you. Let me know what happens ... I would love to know what you see next.
I have always had very strange experinces and learned I was a medium. I don't wanna be a medium. I wanna be something else. Is it possible to lose your gifts.
I suppose it may be possible to lose one's gifts. I have heard of this on occasion. It's relatively rare, and usually happens when someone abuses their gifts for greed or power over others. There seems to be something like a "safety valve" built into most people to keep us from abusing others. However, this is not universal. I know of some pretty nasty people who have pretty strong psychic abilities. But I don't think this is what you are getting at. If I understand your question, you just don't want to be psychic at all. You want to "turn it off". Am I right about that?
Well, the tough answer is that there is no simple, quick and easy way to "turn it off" for most people. If I knew of a way to do that I could probably make a ton of money, because most of the folks who come to my site feel as you do. For every person who is searching the Internet looking for ways to boost their psychic powers, I think there are probably a dozen or so looking for a way to turn it off at will - and the faster the better. Unfortunately, turning it off takes some time and commitment. Because I won't fudge on that point, I think I sell a lot less books than I might do otherwise
This may not be what you want to hear. It may sound strange to you. But if you want to come to peace with this, the first step is to accept it. The second is to embrace it. When you do that, the troubling aspects of it will change dramatically. It will turn from a curse into a blessing. If you start with journalling your experiences and meditating on a daily basis you will find that you gain a lot of peace of mind, and insights that you can use to greatly improve your life.
If you have other specific questions, or I have misunderstood your question, please let me know.