Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Not connecting with clients

It’s been a while since I have updated the blog, I seem to be dealing with the mid-winter blahs. Anyone besides me sleeping 20 hours a night the past few weeks? Strange days indeed.

Dear Brandi:

I am a psychic too, and I’m pretty good. I have been thinking about starting out as a professional, but I am a little insecure about it. Was there ever someone you couldn’t read? How do you deal with that?


Oh yes ... it has happened to me a few times. I remember one case from an ESP fair in Saskatchewan. This woman came in and it was clear she was abused. I tried to be gentle about it, but his energy came through not as a traditional batterer, but that he had started to batter her to get her to leave, and she would not go! She kept saying "I'm going to MAKE this relationship work!" She started off accepting what I was saying, so I thought I could be more blunt, but that was a mistake. She ended up calling me "evil and wrong" ... I finally stopped the reading and refused to take her money. I was terribly upset by the whole thing. I feared he was going to have to kill her to get her out of his life, she was so obsessed with him. It was the first time I had any empathy at all for a wife beater. She was so negative I could not wait to get rid of her myself.

The next day was the last day of the show, and at the end all the readers went for dinner. Across the table I heard one say, "She kept saying "I'm going to MAKE this relationship work!" I was stunned. She'd seen at least three other readers in the group with the same results! Yet at the end she was still swearing we were all wrong. I never found out what happened to her. It was so sad.

I can think back to maybe 5 or 6 cases out of hundreds that I felt I really didn't connect with clients, and in a couple of those cases, they later came back to me to tell me I'd been right all along.

I just hate it when I don't connect - even if 9 out of ten things I tell a client are true, that one "miss" can make me doubt myself. Yes, I totally get that. I don't know where my self-doubt comes from, even though it is rare that I don’t "connect", it is still challenging. I think the fear of it happening is almost worse than the experience itself. Other psychics have told me I have to let go of the need to be "right" because it interferes with our insight, and I have come to see how this is true. It is when we second-guess ourselves, or try to over-interpret the insights we get that we tend to slip up.

The truth is that there are just some people we can’t reach. They may not all be delusional, as I believe may have been the case with my Saskatchewan client, it may just be that we have incompatible energies. For example, one reason I had many abused clients when I was doing consultations was that there were several other readers who found they could not read certain people. They would refer them to me, and invariably the clients would turn out to be abused. I suspected that the psychics had their own issues with this kind of trauma. Myself, I sometimes find it hard to read certain drug abusers, and people suffering from certain kinds of mental illness (this is a more common cause). But even these cases can be instructive. If you start to journal on the people you can’t connect to, you may discover a pattern, and that could be helpful in your own psychic or personal development.