Please help my daughter

My 12 year old daughter is suffering as she has the vision of those that have not moved on. The spirits are becoming more visible and calling her name. She is afraid she's losing her mind and I know she's not. I dont know how else to help her, someone has to help. She is so confused and frustrated. Please help us.

IC

Mental illness is rare in these cases, but I do normally like to rule out mental illness before I offer spiritual solutions. In this case I doubt that. Just be aware that if the voices are hostile or demand action from her, those aren't likely to spirits. With a child who is already sensitive about her mental state though you don't want to rush her off to the doctor as she's likely to take it the wrong way, such action could be more harmful than helpful. Just assure her that if for one minute you thought she was mentally ill, you would be the first to take her to the doctor, and that there is no shame in that, regardless.

As long as the spirits are simply trying to communicate with her, they are of no harm, tell her to tell them that she is too young and it isn't fair for them to try to communicate with her before she is ready. If they persist, tell her to tell them that they are dead, they have crossed over, and to seek out the light. If they still won't leave, tell them to seek out a funeral home, that eventually a portal will open and they can get to the light from there. Try some protective exercises first - try the White Light Exercise. If she is too uncomfortable with the idea, you can also speak to the spirits for her, even if you don't have the gift. You may not be able to hear them, but they can hear you. I doubt they mean to scare her, most of them are scared and confused themselves.

It's tough being 12 years old and feeling "different" (I should know!), it is hard enough at that age without seeing spirits. The most reassuring thing I can say to her is that everyone feels awkward at her age, and many people see spirits. I would ask her why she feels as though she is losing her mind? Would she think someone else was crazy if they heard or saw such things? Why is that? Then I would just listen. My wager is you find out she's told some friends who have teased her about it, or she's seen some skeptic on television who has put her thinking on that track. I would assure her that plenty of sane people see and talk to spirits all the time.

The more she resists, the more confusing and frustrating this is likely to be for her. The more she accepts it and sees it as no big deal, the easier it will get. Encourage her to seek your ear. Just listen - don't try to "solve" it for her or make it go away. Understand that she's going through a challenging period in her life - show interest, but don't make a big deal about it. The more "normal" you make it sound, the easier it will be for her to relax and feel more comfortable learning about her gift.

Find some stories about famous people who have visited mediums. Princess Diana was very fond of visiting psychics and mediums. Nancy Reagan had her own astrologer. Shirley MacLean is an Academy Award winning actress whose interest in these topics is well known - she's written books about it.

Minou the Ghostbusting Cat

My beloved Minou is in spirit now, but during the 20 years of her life, she showed me many times how a cat can be an invaluable companion for a hypersensitive medium. She had a great and gentle spirit.

There were only two times in that whole 20 years when Minou got angry to the point where she frightened me. One time, she spotted a workman installing an awning on our apartment window, and decided that his intrusion demanded a strong response. Lucky for the poor fellow, there was a strong window in her way. She gave him a fright though, and all of us were lucky he had a good strong grip on the awning!

Many years later, we moved into another “store-front” apartment, this time, on the ground floor of an old office, which I discovered quickly was thoroughly haunted. Our spooky roommate was a cranky old man in grubby overalls, whose unpleasant attitude and grimy appearance was a perfect match to the basement we almost never entered. I was aware he did not want me going in what he saw as “his” space, but after many attempts at trying to get him to move on, I decided to give up on using the basement. Still, I stored a few nick-nacks in the basement, and went to get them one afternoon. As I reached the top of the stairs, I felt the spirit moving himself at me in anger.

I immediately threw up my protective shields, but between one step and the next, Minou launched herself at me. She attached herself to my leg, howling, hissing and screeching, and as I hopped around in pain and shock (nick-nacks flying around the room), I could not shake or pull her off. Finally, the spirit retreated, terrified and confused, into the comfort of his dark basement.

As soon as he was gone, Minou dropped off neatly and calmly off my leg, and flipped over into her “rub my tummy” pose. There was no sign that anything was ever wrong. I was bleeding quite profusely, though no stitches were needed. At first I was distressed that she had attacked me, but I quickly realized it was not me she had attacked. It was our nasty spirit roommate!

After I calmed down, I once again tried to persuade the spirit to go into the light, but he was adamant that he was going to stay. So I made him a deal. I would not go into the basement, if he would not come upstairs. His response? “Keep that damned cat up there with you!”

From that day to the end of her very long life, Minou never so much as hissed at me. I remain convinced that she drove this spirit away from me. I don’t know what he might have been able to do, if anything, but I am grateful for her love and protection. Years after she passed, she would often come back for visits. One time, she walked across my bed, and I could see the indentations where her little spirit-paws had passed.

Ghost Story ... The Haunted B&B

It wasn't stormy, but it was dark, cold and late, and we were tired from a long day of exploring Ontario just north of Toronto. Normally we would drive the extra hour or two back to Toronto, but when we finally saw a vacancy sign, we decided to spend a night at a charming bed and breakfast at the side of the road.

Fortunately there were lights on inside the quaint old house as we pulled into the parking lot. We paid for our stay and trudged up the carefully maintained stairs to our quiet room. My companion, who is blessed with absolutely no skill in detecting spirits, quickly drifted off to sleep. As soon as my head hit the pillow however, I was immediately treated to a Technicolor slideshow of images from the old house throughout it's colorful history. I sensed a strong spirit, who immediately noticed that I was aware of her. She was delighted that I could communicate with her, and immediately started nattering away in a charming accent how happy she was to find someone to chat with!

Needless to say I didn't get much sleep that night as she regaled me with tales about the old house. She was delighted with the current owners, "That nice man and his lovely family!" but she had been unhappy for many long years before, when a series of thugs and bootleggers had used the place to run drugs and alcohol during prohibition times. I had a mental picture of her in a Victorian-era dress and hat (purple if I recall correctly), sipping tea in a sunny parlor that I was told I'd have breakfast in the next day. I tried a number of times to convince the old woman to go into the light, but she was adamant that she was happy where she was, and wanted to stay and help the current owner. I finally drifted off to sleep just before a knock on the door let me know it was time for breakfast.

Bleary-eyed, I dragged myself down the stairs. My traveling companion, usually entirely immune to psychic interference, actually asked if I'd been speaking to someone that night. "Not out loud," I replied. She lifted an eyebrow (which for this Taurus, used to hearing about my psychic adventures, spoke volumes). I explained what had happened as the proprietor brought in breakfast.

"Is this place haunted?" I asked him. He smiled.

"If it wasn't, I'd have to make up a story," he said amicably. "That's good for business."

I began to tell the story of the Victorian lady, and shared her history of the house, which he confirmed. I told her she stayed to protect the house, and that she was fond of him and his family because he was such a nice man, and they took such good care of the place. When I described her, he pointed over my shoulder to a picture behind me on the wall. "That's her," he said.

I looked back, and there was the old woman in her Victorian dress and hat who had kept me awake all night with tales of the bed and breakfast where I had gotten no sleep.

Confused and Upset

I have seen spirits at a very young age, but no one in my family believed me and in fact my mother told me I was evil and going to go to hell for seeing them, so I think I tried so hard not to see them, that I no longer do. I do have dreams where I see them and they tell me things, also I hear them at times, and I sense them always. What I am bothered with is this, last week a teenager drown not far from me, the day before he drown I suddenly, and for no reason at all, thought to myself that there would be a body floating down the river, I go out back everyday and look at the river, I find peace there, it's in the back of the house, I have never had that thought before though, then the next day I heard about the boy, he would have floated right past my house at exactly the same time I had that thought the day before. This happens to me all the time, what good is having this knowledge if I don't know who this will happen to or when, or even how to prevent such things? If I happen to see a spirit now, I am so scared I must pass out or something cause I fall right to sleep. I also get severe migraines, I don't know how to control this "gift", can you help me?

 

Confused and Upset

 

Dear Confused,

 

First let me address your mother's reaction to your seeing spirits. That's not an uncommon belief amongst some Christians, but it is not supported by the Bible!

From 1 Corinthians 12:

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

Clearly, what you have experienced is okay with Saint Paul. I think he's a greater authority than your mom (or mine, who had the same reaction initially), or me for that matter. Simple logic says that a loving God would not give you this ability, which is hard to control for the best of us, then condemn you to eternal damnation for things you can't help! It's not your fault, or even hers, that your mother is afraid. For generations, people have been selectively reading the Bible to support their own prejudices. This is one area where they have absolutely no justification for it. Saint Paul is absolutely adamant - what is happening with you is an outgrowth of the Holy Spirit. It is a blessing, not a curse.

It can be a mixed blessing though. I have also asked why am I given this knowledge if I don't know who this will happen to or when, or even how to prevent such things, many times. I don't have a satisfactory answer, and I've been studying for over twenty years. I have come to terms with that however. That is just the way it is. I don't know what God's greater plan might be. I try to help when I can, but when it is not possible or practical for me to make use of it, I simply make a note of it in my journal, or here in the blog. Maybe each individual moment of insight is not the important thing. Maybe it is more generally how I let my intuition guide me. I don't get attached to finding meaning in each case so much anymore. I do what I can, and take pleasure in that. Otherwise I just accept that there are things I can't know. I don't beat on myself or feel guilty when I can't use it to help others. Sometimes they don't want this kind of help. Sometimes it is risky to speak out. Sometimes I am not sure of my own insights. I feel my responsibility is to develop this gift to the best of my ability and to share what I know where it is welcome. Aside from that, I don't know what it is for. I figure one day it will make more sense to us all.

I think you are scared of spirits because of what your mother said, and not because they are inherently scary things. They are simply people without bodies. People are mostly good. So are spirits. Yes, now and then you will stumble across a frightened, confused, or even very rarely, a negative spirit. But they can't really harm you, can they? Other than being frightened, have you been harmed in any way? And you have control over that. You can decide to accept what is happening to you. When you do, you will find that the experience gets more and more positive. It's funny how that works, but fear is your enemy, it is not your friend. Once you get that, your life will change for the better in ways you can't begin to comprehend. For example, I still occasionally have migraines, but they are far less frequent than when I was in "flight/fight" mode.

I do recommend you get the book or the eBook and study the meditations and visualizations in it. I do daily morning and evening meditations. You can find other meditations online. Your local Buddhist temple or new age shop may offer a meditation class - almost any kind of meditation will be helpful to you. Just sitting by the river may help calm your mind. I also keep a journal of my insights.

Ouija? NonNien! Not on Coast to Coast!

Tonight was George Noory's infamous Coast to Coast Ouija Board experiment. It went down more or less exactly like I expected. George opted out at the last minute in a deluge of negative feedback and recriminations from one side, and applause from the other. The feedback was almost evenly split.

I respected the ultimate decision. I was against the idea from the start. My only gripe is with the way it was drawn out over a period of weeks. Noory is too shrewd and experienced a talk show host not to know the impact on the audience of drawing out the decision for that long, and the controversy can only be good for ratings. I can understand why some members of the audience expressed anger and disappointment at his decision. I can understand they might feel misled. But Noory sounded sincere to me. I'll take it just as I heard it. I do think he struggled with this, right up to the end, and it probably wasn't easy for him to walk away from it. I found his personal story of a near-death experience compelling and interesting.

My beef with the folks who are angry at him is that they seem to have no empathy for his struggle over the moral decision to expose potentially millions of people to spiritual and psychic forces they might not be ready to deal with. That's my beef with the makers of the Ouija board itself. The argument was made that we all have personal responsibility, and on one level this is absolutely true. But on the other hand, you don't give a handgun to a child and tell them to go out and play. Many of the listeners of Coast simply aren't ready to deal with exposure to psychic forces of this kind. They simply have no idea what they are opening themselves up to.

I'll take this a step or two beyond the Ouija board ... one theme in my own thinking, since I wrote Living With Your Psychic Gifts, is the idea that far too many people approach psychic experiences as "dabblers", and that's the core of the problems I end up seeing for large numbers of my readers. They started playing with something as a lark or a toy, but they opened Aladdin's Lamp and the Genie won't go back inside (nor is he cute cuddly and blue with Robin William's voice or sense of humor, for that matter).

I do discourage "dabbling". If you get involved in psychic development, you should understand that you will be making a lifetime commitment to your personal growth, and there will be effects you won't like at times. I will never forget one email from a reader who asked me a dozen questions, all of which were answered on my site. When I told her to go read it first and I'd answer any questions not answered later, she responded rather huffily that she didn't have time to do that! My response, with all due respect, was to tell her that if she did not have time to read it, then chances were good she wouldn't have the time to follow my advice, either. Prozac can shut down some psychic ability (if you can tolerate the side effects, costs and danger), but there is really no "magic pill" that can stuff the Genie back into the lamp entirely. Don't dabble in any of this stuff unless you are prepared to take the time to deal with the issues it will bring up. As Noory's guests said many times tonight, whether it is Ouija in particular or psychic experimentation in general, the baggage you bring with you is going to make a huge difference to the kind of experience you will have. There is no faster way to discover that you have hidden issues than to start opening up to your psychic ability.

I specifically discourage neophytes from dabbling with Ouija because of the way it is marketed. This is not a game, it is a heavy duty psychological experiment wrapped up in a metaphysical box, IMNSHO. It is a direct and immediate connection to the subconscious. On top of that, it opens the spiritual doors to any and all entities who may want to drop in. It's psychic Russian Roulette. You don't know who you are gonna get, and there is absolutely no spiritual or psychic protection guidance offered by the makers of the Ouija.

I am sure I'll get letters from experienced psychics who have had nothing but wonderful experiences, and the odd dabbler who got lucky - but the warning here is not for you. Sure, I grant you, some people have had positive experiences, but the majority of stories I have heard have been terrifying. And like George Noory, I am not sure that possibility is worth the risk.

If you have played with a Ouija board and are having negative experiences, my suggestion for disposal is simple. Send it back to the manufacturer, without a return address. Let them dispose of it in whatever manner they see fit. Maybe if they get enough of these "toys" back in the mail, they will rethink the way they have marketed this "game".

Brandi

Be careful what you wish for

For a long time i believed i never had a gift. my nan, aunty, mum and sister all do. but i never showed any signs. I wished and wished for something to happen and now it has i cant control it. it started with a dream. i had spent the whole evening wishing that i could be "special" to, when i fell into a very deep sleep i dreamed that my nan who has been dead for 9 years now came and told me i had a gift i was shutting it out because i was afraid of what it ment. and that when i woke my life would never be the same again. now all i see is reflections of people i dont no. but yet when i turn no one is there. ill be sat in my bedroom when i will go cold and my body starts to tingle. now ive got the gift i dont no what to do with it i dont no what these poeple want. did i make a big mistake by wishing for something i cant handle. is my nan punishing me for wanting more than
what i already had. please help me.

k

Dear k,

There are quite a few people I think have indeed asked for something they weren't ready for where it comes to psychic abilities, but I don't know if that is the case for you. Your gift might have developed exactly as it has, regardless. The women in your family have the gift, it runs in families, chances are good that you would have developed it anyway. What happened in the past isn’t important. You can't change that, so there is no point in worrying about it. What matters is, what are you going to do with it now?

I think you are a bit nervous because you are realizing now that with power comes responsibility. But what you may have overlooked is that the first responsibility is for yourself. It doesn’t matter what anyone else wants you to do. What matters is what you really want to do. I noticed something in your email – often when you refer to yourself as “I” you use a lowercase “i”. Why are you trying to make yourself small? Think about that for a while, it may be related to the confusion you are feeling right now.

One thing I am pretty sure of, and that is I don’t think your nan is punishing you. In fact, I'm sure she just loves you and she’s just trying to help you with this – her words right true, don’t they? You asked for this, and now you are trying to shut it off. Your trying to shut it off is what is causing the problem. So the solution is to find a way to positively express this gift you asked for. Start keeping a journal. Do the daily “grounding” and “white light” exercises. You are so blessed to have others in your family who have the gift, learn what you can from the women in your family who share the gift. Learn what you can from the library, from web sites like PsychicProtection.net.

As for the visions you are having of strange people, don’t assume they necessarily have a huge amount of importance just yet. You are in the early stages of learning about your abilities, and the worst thing beginners do to themselves is to blow these experiences out of proportion. I did that at first, and now I know that I scared myself for no reason whatsoever. Most psychic experiences are ordinary, mundane experiences. It’s just another way of communicating, it’s only that in our culture people don’t talk about it openly. I wager that most of the people you are seeing are people who have passed on who are looking for mediums to talk to. Have you ever seen the movie “Ghost”? The Patrick Swayze character was wandering around after he died, trying to find someone to tell his lady how much he loved her. Most of the time when I see spirits, it’s something similar. Tell them you want your space, that they are only to contact you when you are ready for it. Tell them to go into the light, to pray for guidance, or to find someone else with more experience than you, until you are comfortable enough with your gifts to be able to discern their intentions and find the right way to help them.

Once you realize that this is nothing to be worried about, it will just become something you take for granted. You might decide to become a professional psychic, but you could also decide to become a highly intuitive doctor or lawyer instead. It doesn’t matter what anyone else wants you to do with this gift, it is yours to play with. Follow your heart.