Praying for Deliverance

I was listening to parts of last night's Coast to Coast, my favorite radio show. It was a strange repeat show featuring Kathleen Keating, a writer who mixes Biblical and contemporary prophecy into a fearful message that apparently is extremely popular. I could not bear to listen to it all, it was all so negative and toxic. But at one point, I was struck by yet another pundit making the assertion that if one wants to be delivered from spiritual tribulations or visions that all one needs to do is "Pray in the name of Jesus". Yet another Christian pundit making the incredible assertion that this "always" works ... "immediately".

Umn, no. It doesn't.

I am always shocked by this assertion. I am a child of a fundamentalist Pentecostal/Baptist family, "born again" since the age of six. As someone who suffered greatly from sleep paralysis and terrifying visions and dreams for two years after my initial psychic awakening, I prayed with great fervor and sincerity for Jesus to deliver me, night after night. Not once were these desperate prayers answered "immediately". Many times I would be frozen, beset by terrible visions, vibrating and paralyzed, literally mentally screaming for help in Jesus' name, only to eventually awaken, exhausted and terrified, certain only that the next night I'd be stuck in the same spot once again.

I am not the only (now former) Christian who has deeply and sincerely prayed for Deliverance without success over a period of years. My readers' emails regularly feature terrified pleas for help from people of any number of faiths who have prayed and prayed for deliverance without relief. Most are convinced they must be possessed or worse, and they feel so alone. Some have gone to their Church begging for help only to be turned away. I was profoundly insulted at the repeated suggestion by others at the time that I was possessed, not sincere, or worthy of God's compassion, or that I somehow had "asked' for this by listening to rock music or reading the wrong books. I finally got scared enough to confide these visions and dreams to my mother, who dragged me off to her Church the next day. I am sure she had no idea what the sermon would be ... it was "Visions and Dreams, God's Way of Communicating". It was only after this that I finally discovered someone at a "new age" book store, who took me seriously and offered guidance, that I was able to finally get these "Experiences" under control. I now teach some of those techniques through my book and web site.

It's irresponsible to tell people that any method of spiritual protection or deliverance will "always" work. Certainly the prayer method works a great deal of the time, perhaps even most of the time. My prayers were answered after all - just not as I expected, and not immediately. I think my methods are successful most of the time, but how am I to judge? Those who fail aren't likely to respond to someone who speaks with the authority of the Bible. If you admit your prayers in such desperate spiritual circumstances are not answered, the knee-jerk reaction is to blame the victim. You must be possessed. You must be praying wrong. Are you living a "Godly" enough life? Nobody wants to simply question the automatic efficacy of such prayers.

I recall as a child being told that "demon-possessed" people could "never" resist the power of prayer in the name of Jesus. We were told often if we only had the stones to go pray over the "heathens" (especially psychics, and "witches") that they would immediately be struck dumb. Many years later, as I worked in psychic expos and other public places (and had thus become the worst kind of heathen an apostate psychic), I frequently encountered people who believed this. There was more than one occasion where some preacher or wannabee came to pray over me in the name of Jesus in some rather spectacular and usually attention-grabbing manner. It never managed to shut me up. In fact the only thing I noticed was the additional attention seemed to be good for business. One time, one poor fellow commanded the imaginary demons to "I command you to be silent and leave in the name of Jesus". I had noticed the local rent-a-cops coming up silently behind him (security at that place liked me, I think). I responded "I command you to be silent ... and leave in the name of Security." I think he turned white when he turned around to see the two hulking giants behind him, their arms crossed over their broad chests, handsome faces drawn in scowls. He'd drawn a small crowd, who burst into applause as he was escorted off the property. It turned into the best day I had for business all winter.

I just find it impossible to accept that God has some weird cosmic game that He's playing with us. If we don't all pony up to the collection plate and say the "right" prayers to the right deity, if we doubt, if we use our God-given intuition, we're all going to be hell roasted in a terrible apocalypse ... all for God's benefit? How does any of this abominable collection of ideas glorify God? How does fear glorify God? Why does God need to fulfill these abominable prophecies to prove His worth for worship? Isn't creating the entire, glorious Universe enough?

It seems blasphemous to me to suggest that God is glorified by fear. It sells books, puts bums in pews, and makes for great radio ratings, but God is glorified by love, not fear. Simply stepping outside of my fear was the most important thing that I did to stop my terrifying visions and dreams. Twenty years later, I almost never have sleep paralysis. When it happens it is rare, and only occasionally fearful, and I can almost always trace those moments to times of stress and change. Sometimes I still have visions and dreams, but they are never as terrifying as they were. Faith can be a wonderful and life-affirming thing. By all means, pray to Jesus for deliverance from unwanted psychic experiences if you are a Christian (heck, even if you are not). It can't hurt anything, and it may help. It probably will help. But don't bang on yourself, don't let fear take your heart if it does not help right away.

What is wrong with me?

Ever since a couple of years I have been feeling out of place in this world. It started with an extremely low energy level accompanied by tremendous migraines. Then the nightmares started. Horrible dreams, starting with eyes looking at me from inside my own mind or head. Also I started seeing a dark shadow appear in my bedroom. I think have been attacked in the middle of my dream by that same large dark shadowy figure on another occasion, who tried to suffocate me by covering my entire body with darkness. But at the same time I'm not sure if it was a dream, because when I woke up I felt the same fear, laying in the same exact position as in my dream.

Now that I have moved in with my fiancée in his country everything has gotten so wrong. Sometimes I think someone really hates me and wants things to go bad for me. I am seeing soooo many things a human shouldn't be seeing. I can't explain what those entities are. A man, clearly to me, walking through our hallway as we were both watching the television, but me being the only one seeing it. It was almost like the man was invisible (see-through) and yet he seemed familiar to me. It almost seem like I am a portal to everything and anything. Things keep walking in our home like it is theirs. Footprints, orangy glowy eyes, an invisible woman attacking in broad daylight as I was asleep (I was trying to fall back to sleep but I guess she didn't want me too), waking up in the middle of the night and seeing some doll staring at me from a corner in our bedroom, a dark very tall slim black shadow in our yard staring at me from the corner of our house. I tell you this all has been creeping me out. I am praying everyday and night. I try covering my body in light just a day ago. But still I sense a presence. Tension in my back, neck, migraines, fears and weird negative thoughts in my mind.

I know it must seem like I am psychic but I don't want to be. I don't really know what is happening to me. It is so confusing. I just want to go back to being an artist. I haven't been able to do so for years now. I don't know why. I feel like I have wasted so much time. I do not wish to see or hear things anymore. I also don't like crowds. People are so loud. It is almost like I can hear all their thoughts at the same time. I usually end up with a huge migraine while doing groceries and such. I seem to know things I could not possibly know. I don't know why. I am sorry about this email, but I needed to talk to someone who might actually be able to help me. I mean in case I am psychic??? Do you think that, if I would sprinkle salt around the foundation of our house, it would protect from evil entering? I keep having that thought in my mind but am scared it might be seen as witchcraft since I am Catholic. I hope you can help me Brandi. Best wishes and many thanks forehand.

CL

Well it seems to me you are not only psychic, you have some mediumship abilities. The salt may help, yes, and I can’t answer whether or not your church would see it as witchcraft or not, since most Christian churches tend to see virtually all of the psychic world (mistakenly in my opinion) through that lens. I'd ask your priest for guidance there first.

If that isn't satisfactory or it does not help (and in my experience with the church, it probably won't), then you may have some heavy soul-searching to do along with your psychic protection practices. What will you believe? Dogma? Or the evidence in front of your own eyes? I can't tell you what the Ultimate Truth is, but it makes no sense to me that a loving God would saddle you and me with these abilities and insights, and make using them a mortal sin. It makes far more sense to me that the church is simply afraid of things it does not fully understand and can't control.

If you want to get a real handle on these experiences, the first thing you will have to let go of is your fear. The way to do that is to have true faith in God. Trust that you will be protected from any spiritual harm. Remind yourself that while these spiritual beings have frightened you, they have not really harmed you – and nothing demonic can harm you spiritually without your permission (not to mention God's permission – and why would God permit that?)

Next, start keeping a journal. Write down what happens, and your reaction to it. When you feel fearful, surround yourself in white light, pray, read your Bible, distract yourself from these experiences for now. When you feel more comfortable and ready to explore further, consider reading my book. There are a lot more details there that will help you block out some of these unwanted experiences.

Brandi

Can everyone read my mind?

I am 100% sure that everyone can read my mind... I discovered that this was happening after I ate magic mushrooms. I smoke alot of weed. Everyone reacts to my thoughts I was reading minds for a while I could hear everyone's thoughts in my head but that seemed to go away when I didn't smoke weed as much but everyone can still read my mind. I've asked my friends if they can read my mind but they just said no when I would be expecting something like no way you idiot what are you talking about you weird kid etc. If I call someone with my mind they look at me I have even told my dog to stand up and look at me in my head and it stood up and looked at me and gave me a very weird look almost like it was scared then I said sit in my head and it did. When police officers walk by I say in my head "I do cocaine" and they look at me and give me a dirty look. Please tell me what is going on.

Vanilla

Well I know one person who can't read your mind, and that is me. I can't speak for anyone else, but I am pretty sure other people can't read your mind either. The truth is that the best empaths and sensitives are only capable of picking up a general overview of your emotions and feelings, and certain details from your life. Sometimes they also get certain specifics about you or your life ... but nobody can "read your mind", like say Professor Xavier in X-men, for example.

Sometimes we think we know what other people are thinking, and we really don't. Let me share a funny story with you about that. I had just graduated from a personal growth class where one of my big issues was self image. I'm heavy and sometimes I feel unattractive. So if a gentleman makes an unpleasant face at me, I assumed he must be thinking that I am ugly. Just after taking that class, I was getting on a bus, and this fellow is getting off - and he makes a face at me. My first thought was "He must think I'm ugly", and all the work I'd done the week before flew out the window. Right away my spirits crashed. But as he got past me, I heard a funny sound ... the poor man let out a gigantic fart.

Everyone in the bus line chuckled, but for me, the laughter was in relief! He hadn't been thinking about me at all. He was just thinking "I gotta get off this bus before I let one go!"

In the case of the police, chances are you are staring at them, and they are simply staring back. It's your body language they are reading, not your mind. In the case of your dog and calling people, you may have some psychic talent - I would be careful how you use that. It's not good karma to make other people do what you want mentally, even in small matters.

If these feelings persist, you should share them with your family or your doctor, especially if you begin to have strongly negative feelings about other people's thoughts and intentions. I don't have any direct personal experience with mushrooms, but my understanding is they lower the barriers between our world and the psychic world, they do facilitate mystical experiences, but temporary paranoia is a not-uncommon side effect. Even though I believe marijuana is harmless and can have some beneficial uses, I recommend that all psychics and sensitives avoid drugs altogether. I believe they could be the real cause of most of what is troubling you right now.

Brandi

What is a "psychic"?

Blessed Greetings.

What is a "psychic"? Is there anyone who is NOT a psychic?

I ask because of my experience with the biblical parable of Adam and Eve in Genesis.

My personal eperiences tell me that we are all created as perfect beings splashed with the paint of technical improvements upon Nature. This paint obscures the transparency that we once had wherein we saw into the Spirits of one another as a Natural mode of communication.

Once we have eaten of the poison fruits of technology and our physical vehicle of consciousness, the brain is polluted, splashed, our transparent windows to one another's Souls are clouded. We thus aquire the ability to lie; to deceive, and all fruits that go with it.

I believe we are all "psychic" at varying degrees of ability and recognition. I have found that in returning to Nature as closely as possible in what we build our Earthly persons with, our food and drink, the paint on the windows of our Souls begins to fade and we better and better, more and more, SEE into one another as planned and created.

What do you think Brandi?

In the Spirit of LOVE,
Tim

What is a "psychic"? That's an interesting question. The Mirriam Webster's definition is "a person apparently sensitive to nonphysical forces : sensitive to nonphysical or supernatural forces and influences : marked by extraordinary or mysterious sensitivity, perception, or understanding". I actually like this definition, it works for me.

I agree, most people are psychic to some degree. I have met few people who show absolutely no signs of empathy, intuition or an understanding that there is more to reality than we can grasp with our common senses. The only argument is to what degree these sensitivities are "real" or "imagined", how reliable they are, whether or not they come from a "God" or a "Devil". I feel the psychic abilities are tied to creative abilities. They function in similar ways. I have met few artists, writers, photographers or musicians who are not also intuitive, sensitive or psychic to some degree.

I don't know that I would use the word "polluted" because I believe our being physical is part of a natural cycle of development, rather than a curse or a "fall" ... but I wholeheartedly agree with your insight that humanity is confused. Sometimes I despair at how asleep we seem to be. But I do not blame that confusion on technology, rather I blame it on fear. We've been in this condition since history began ... there wasn't much technology around to confuse the mind in the Dark Ages, for example. Fear on the other hand, that has been our biggest enemy from the beginning.

The antidote to fear is love, and love is the root of empathy, which is, somewhat ironically, one of the psychic gifts. You are right that respect for nature is vital if we are to grow spiritually, and we defnitely suffer in modern times from lack of connection to the Earth. Yet I don't think we have to abandon technology entirely - clearly the psychic community has embraced computers and the Internet (we could not have had this discussion twenty years ago). There was a study recently that said the more educated you are, the more likely you are to believe in the paranormal. I see that as a positive sign. I believe that some technologies are vital to our growth as a species, especially the Internet. I see it as the beginnings of a neural network with the potential of eventual self-awareness. The question really is, are we using technology from a love-based perspective, or a fear-based one? It is from love that our answers will come.

Brandi

Am I psychic?

I had a previous psychic tell me that I had abilities, I sometimes feel certain things and know stuff about people. How do I tap into this ability and make it stronger? Or am I even psychic? My older sister has the ability to see spirits and apparently so did my father. Appreciate your response. Thanks!

Gabby

It is not unusual for psychic ability to run in families. In fact it is common. I would talk to your other family members to compare experiences, if they are open to it.

As for improving your psychic abilities, the two most important tools I recommend are journal-keeping and daily meditation. The Oracle at Delphi said "Know Thyself" and this was universal wisdom. 90% of being a good psychic is getting out of your own way, letting go of the need to "perform", and just letting the wisdom flow through you.

Just keep writing down your experiences over the next little while. Then, as you confirm them, keep track of your "hits" and "misses". That will show you where your blind spots and natural affinities are. You may find your abilities work much like your sister's or dads ... but maybe not. Everyone has their own preferences that have as much to do with personality as they do with talent.

Another thing that is important, do learn how to ground, how to do the White Light Exercise ... learning psychic protection first and foremost is vital to your path to becoming a better psychic. Good luck!

Brandi

Phobia may come from past life

I have been afraid of the dark for as long as I can remember. It began when I was just 3 years old and still continues to this day. I have asked my family if there was anything traumatic that occurred and no one can think of a thing except that I have always had this terror of going to sleep in the dark. I am rather Psychic and that does not bother me. I would just love an answer to this problem I have had all of my life and I wonder just what is the root cause.

I will elaborate a bit on the terror, I never knew where it came from but I knew that when I would go to bed in my room and the lights would go out, I would cover my head sure someone or something was in the room with me. My parents finally aloud a nightlight and when I was older, I slept with the TV on. I was just so afraid, terrorized and wanted someone to be in the room with me. The only common nightmare that I have had since I was very small was of a house, I see it vividly and it DOES has a pond in the back of it. I felt more like a parent in this dream, and just knew someone had drowned in that pond. As for past life's, I was born in 1968 and I am almost positive that my last life, if past lives are true, was as a soldier in Vietnam. I remember the smells, the sounds, the weight of my rifle, all of it. Then, I remember being shot and killed. I was nothing special, no hero, just an ordinary soldier. This was something I feel in my gut and since I am a female and was just a baby when Vietnam was ending, there is no way I could have known any of the things that are so real to me. I have always known that I had psychic powers of some type, I am not sure what to call it, it really is not typical. I have always known and read feelings and what is going on with others. I can feel others pain, this is only odd because I can literally FEEL their pain. To me, it is a very hot spot on their body. The other thing I have always known is when people were going to die. I know when my own death will be and how. It is not scary, it is just a normal part of life to me. I do not know if I really do believe in past lives or if it is just seeing things that happened before. I am open and interested in other views, simply because nothing I try makes sense.

RJ

The first impression I get, and it is rather strong, is of you being stuck down a well. It is possible that this is a metaphor for something that happened to you in this life that your family is either not aware of, or chooses not to tell you, but my strongest suspicion is that this is an affect of a past-life memory. There is a sensation of water, or at least dampness, and a lot of metal around you as well. Do you have any dreams or impressions of scenes like that? If so, I was just listening to Dr. Brian Weiss on Coast to Coast last night, and on his website you may be able to find a therapist who can hypnotically regress you so that you can retrieve more of the detail.

Psychiatrists say that this kind of phobia can be related to sexual abuse in childhood. But if there are no indicators of this whatsoever, I think the best route of attack is to try hypnotic regression. I have a feeling that will be where your answer lies. I could say firmly that I believe that it is a past life - but that will not make an impact on the problem until you feel it in your own heart. Dr. Weiss is one of the most respected practitioners in the field, I would get a referral from him and check it out.

As for your psychic abilities, it seems to me you are both a healer and an empath. Different abilities can combine like this, it isn't uncommon. The heat you feel is the movement of the healing force through you. Let it happen! Set an intention that you will heal them, see positive white or rainbow energy flowing from you into them. Read Hands of Light and other healing books. The world needs more healers!

Brandi

Positive Versus Negative Energy

The new issue of Successful Spirit! webzine is available online. They have some interesting new writers and articles. If you would like to view the zine
click here.

My friend Anne James recently recommended a cool web site to me, TUT... A Note from the Universe. Really nifty daily inspirational emails, well worth checking out.

Dear Brandi:

How do we differentiate whether we are affected by positive psychic energy or negative psychic energy. If we know this probably we will know for which to take action and which to left alone.

Secondly I have one recurring dream. Sometimes a public toilet full of stools everywhere and no water. I can't understand the meaning of this because I am not figure out the significance in my day to day life. I will greatful if you would answer these questions.

Thankyou,
J

It's not that hard to tell the difference between positive and negative spiritual influences. "By their fruits shall you know them". If you are being asked to take actions that are not the highest, most loving, or are controlling of others, or are not in line with your ethical standards, then clearly these are negative influences. If they urge you to be more giving, compassionate, to be of help or service to others, then they are positive. I always affirm when I work that only the highest, most positive energies and intelligences will come together for the highest good of all concerned.

A less clear line may come when deciding whether or not an intuition is legitimate or is wish-fulfillment or fantasy. This is a little harder to tell. I recommend keeping a journal over a period of time. After a while you will notice your own blind spots, and subtle feelings that you can come to count on that will tell you the difference between mental wanderings and real psychic influences.

I have to admit that is a very interesting dream! I think the meaning is obvious though. Water is always emotion. Bathroom dreams that are not related to physical problems in waking life are often related to "holding in" emotions.

Your subconscious mind may be looking for a way to let you know to relax, stop over-analyzing things, and let things happen instead of trying to force them. It could also be that you have a hidden health concern, if I were you I might discuss the dreams with my doctor, especially if they repeat, get more insistent, or if you notice any physical problems with the related areas of your body.

Brandi

The Gift Reality TV Show Looking for "Ordinary People" Psychics

Have you ever thought of a TV show and turned on the TV and it was being re-run? Have you ever had a premonition of the future? Have you ever experienced dèjá vu? Have you ever picked up the phone to find it is the friend you were just thinking about.

Executive produced by Tony Krantz (24) and Victoria Holt, The Gift — a six-episode, one-hour weekly reality series — is looking for ordinary people with psychic gifts to appear on the show.

After testing the psychic abilities of people throughout the country, eight contestants will participate in what they describe as an emotionally intense "boot camp for intuitives." Finalists will compete against each other in a series of challenges devised by some of the world's top psychic professionals.

To apply to be a contestant on the The Gift, go to their web site. I recommend you read all the fine print - this won't be a glamorous walk in the park. You'll need a thick skin and I expect there will be lots of curve balls thrown at you. They don't say it but my psychic intuition tells me a guest shot with some of the typical "skeptic-debunkers" isn't beyond possibility ...

Anyway, it is an interesting idea. I think there will be some pretty cool surprises along the way. I hope they do teach some psychic protection along with whatever else they will be teaching. I have heard James Van Praagh will be one of the teachers, though they don't mention him by name on the site - and with him involved, it should be pretty good.

John Nemanic in Globe and Mail

John Nemanic, my friend, co-author, and supporter was mentioned in the Globe and Mail today. I do not know how long this article will remain online (newspapers tend to like to archive older stories), but it is well worth reading if you can get in.

I worked for John as his personal assistant, media relations director, writer, editor and was iDirect's "abuse administrator" for a good 10 year stretch during the 1990's. It was John that introduced me to Ross Quinn and LifeStream (which IMNSHO saved my life). When I first met this guy, I though "He's going to change my life" ... and I was right!

My sites are all hosted at BlueGenesis, a subsidiary of Hostopia ... I highly recommend these companies if you are looking to host a site, or are interested in reselling web hosting services at any level, from small time to enterprise-wide. They can do it all.

Brandi

Is this dream precognitive?

I had a very vivid dream that something horrible happened to my daughter. I just have this overwhelming sense of grief and loss. I wake up from the dream really upset & scared.

Now in real life my neighbor physically attacked my son in broad daylight. This was several months after I first had the dream. Now I am left wondering if my dream was a premonition of the incident with my son or if he is really going to try to attack my daughter.

A worried mom

It is hard sometimes to tell in advance whether a dream is precognitive or not. Every person has their own time cycles as well as their own level and type of psychic ability. In all but the rarest of cases, they tend to be symbolic rather than literal (transposing one loved one for another is not unusual). So without knowing your pattern, I can't really judge. With me, if my dreams or visions are precognitive, the events they forecast usually take place the next day or even within hours of when I wake up. I know others that it is always 3 days or 4 weeks later ... you can only determine that pattern over time, with a lot of journaling.

My own psychic impression is that it was actually about your son's experience, and you are fearful that it will repeat itself. From everything you told me, you have good reason to be concerned.

The stakes are simply too high to proceed any other way. There is still good reason to assume this man is still a threat. If you were 100% certain that this dream were precognitive, within reason, what would you do to prevent it? Go do those things. Investigate this man's criminal record. Fortify your family against any further interactions with him. Make plans with both children, make sure they know what to do "just in case". Consider placing both your children in some kind of self defense class, like Hapkido. Do anything else that you can to ward off the danger. The dream is only warning you of the dangers that are obvious. Criminals like this very often cannot stop themselves from repeating their offenses.

On the psychic level, I might try something like Love Bombing on a person like this. You meditate on something you love, or just on living intent in general, filling yourself up with positive and loving emotions (in this case, I would not focus on your children for this - you want to bring up non-specific loving feelings). Then, whenever you are ready, you beam them in your mind at the unreasonable person. Affirm that the energy will get where it needs to go. Then release any cords or connections with light and love, and ground yourself (touch the earth or dip your feet in cool water). It may also be a good idea to send gratitude "upstairs" next time you pray, thanking your Higher Power for the continued safety and well being of your loved ones.

Brandi

Mother Attacking Psychically?

Have you ever heard of being attacked by something unseen while you are asleep? I don't know what to make of this, but this has happened to me 3-4 times over the years. It's very scary.

The first time it happened was over 24 years ago, on my wedding night I was asleep and knew I was asleep, but yet I couldn't move. I could open my eyes that was all. I felt something enormous sitting on my chest and I was having trouble breathing. I looked over and something unseen was taking all of my clothes out of my closet and throwing them at me ... also threw my wedding dress at me! I chalked the whole experience up to nerves, but I remember trying to scream or move ... but I couldn't.

Last night I was sleeping on my side and felt something attacked me. I felt it land on my back and dig into my neck and back. I couldn't move or scream out. It happened twice last night. I was afraid to go back to sleep.

The only common denominator that I can think of, is that this must have something to do with my mother. She wasn't invited to my wedding and hated me for it. She sent me letters spitting venom at the time.

Yesterday after malicious horrible emails over Christmas (to which I refused to respond) she called me and started on me again. I told her to LEAVE ME ALONE! And hung up on her. I can't let her near me, she will stop at nothing to destroy me. The whole experience yesterday left me shaking. Last night while I slept, I was attacked. I have never heard of this happening to anybody else.

In order to explain further you I have to tell you what I experienced as a child growing up. I have never met another person that could HATE like her. She used to beat on me but mostly my older brother. I used to stand there and witness her beatings, and the look on her face of pure HATRED........I felt it.......it was almost tangible it emanated so strongly from her. As a child I would have constant stomach problems, I lived on Alka Seltser! I know she is what Sylvia Browne calls a dark soul. She is also quite insane, but she hides it from others very well.

The whole thing scared the beejeezes out of me. This felt very real, not a dream. I swear I was awake and could hear my physical body's reaction to what was happening to me during the assault I was experiencing. Very rapid heart rate and sharp panting type breathing. I was trying to move even just a little and couldn't. I could see my husband sleeping soundly but couldn't move to wake him up! I was in terrible pain! What was this?

GB

Similar things have happened to me too ... and my experiences were very fearful, at least until I realized that it was my fear that was making it so scary. I know that sounds crazy, but once you accept these experiences you have a lot more positive ones, and fewer scary ones. If you look up "Old Hag Syndrome" and "Sleep Paralysis" in Google, you will discover that this kind of experience is actually quite common, but no one is really sure what it is, and people have only been discussing it openly for the past few years.

In your case, I think this is a combination of things. The symbolism of the clothing and the timing do seem to point to a psychic attack on your mother's part. It is possible you picked up the energy of her thoughts, and interpreted them as an attack, or that she actually did attack you on the astral plane. I feel it is obvious your mother was at least partly behind it. The symbolism and the timing is too obvious.

The part about being awake and not able to move sounds more like sleep paralysis, but the difference between the dream state, sleep paralysis experiences and astral experiences to me is only one of depth of consciousness - there are dream elements in all these experiences, but they are not all dreams. When you feel that "more than real" experience, you have gone to the astral level.

Astral experiences are similar to dreams, but they sometimes feel "more real" than "reality" - if you know what I mean by that, then it was an astral experience, not a dream. If you felt it was more like a dream but you were awake and unable to move, it could be sleep paralysis. I have that from time to time, and it is terrifying. It is considered a medical condition, not a psychic one, but it can have psychic components. I believe it is caused when the person has a partial out of body experience. My guides tell me they sometimes force me to stay in the body because my connection to physical existence is quite tentative. I stay out too long and I won't come back ... so they stuff me back in, and it is not always pleasant.

For now, pour some salt in the four corners of your home, if it is a house, and it is possible, get some sea salt and draw a circle around it. I say an affirmation like "May this circle bless all our comings and goings, and bar all harm from entering". If it happens again, dip your feet and hands in cold water, draw a mental circle of light around your home, and ask God or Jesus for protection (that never worked for me, but it's worth a try if you come from a Christian background). I sometimes say "Please send these energies back to their source with light and love." If you have any crystals (rose quartz is extra good for you right now), make sure you clear them on a regular basis (leave them overnight in sea salt).

I also recommend Love Bombing. You meditate on someone or something you love, filling yourself up with positive and loving emotions. Then, whenever you are ready, you beam them in your mind "at the source of your discomfort" - do NOT specify your mother, it is remotely possible this is not her! If you leave it up to them upstairs (God, Jesus, your angels or guides, whatever fits your faith) to deliver the energy it will get where it needs to go. Then release any cords or connections with light and love, and ground yourself.

The upshot to this method (besides the fact that it nearly always works, sometimes with a few repeats) ... YOU feel better, and it's "karma free". Sending nasty thoughts always comes back on you, like pissing in the wind. But sending loving thoughts can't hurt you. And the other party will get a jolt of energy that snaps them back on their feet. If they are truly evil, they tend to react like they were slapped in the face. If just misguided, I have seen some amazing attitude changes after a Love Bombing.

You don't sound crazy to me, and you are not alone. I have experienced far stranger things. I used to have these things almost every night. I would wake up screaming for Jesus to help me, I couldn't move, there was an awful roaring noise in my ears, these terrible vibrations ... the sensation was like having a finger stuck in a light socket. It was awful. In some cases, there were negative entities that tried to sexually and physically assault me. I thought I was crazy or possessed by the devil. Finally this fellow who owned a new-age store told me to put my feet and hands in cold water, and sent me to a naturopath who told me that these sounded like out of body experiences. That advice put me on the path to getting control of my life again. It probably saved my life. I was so frightened, trust me, I understand that fear! But now I know it is the fear that colors the experience - our imagination has a much stronger effect on the astral plane than it does on physical reality. If you are sensitive and okay with it, you'll have positive experiences, but if you are fearful, it will be a horror show. It's that simple. In your case, to top it off, you have a lot of family stress - so did I when mine first started, but my mother was a fundamentalist Pentecostal Christian. It's no wonder I thought I was being attacked by demons.

Things are very different now. I occasionally have the odd “sleep paralysis” experience, but as often as not, they are actually quite positive. They usually happen when I am under more stress or am worried about something. I have a lot more positive lucid dreams now too. Once I let go of the fear, my own and my mother’s, things changed a lot for the better. I actually miss having them as often as I used to, sometimes!

Brandi

Dove Symbol & Medium Question

I fell upon your website looking for a reason why I was seeing a large gray white dove on my mirror in my bedroom with wings fluttering out as if taking flight. I really thought it was there it was detailed and real and then it was gone. It was right before I was about to turn my light off to go to sleep. It was so much more of an image than I usually get, so real. It is sticking with me and can't get a feel for it. Any symbolizing ?

Catherine

Doves are a universal symbol of peace, unconditional love and spiritual connection. In Christian iconography, it is an emblem of the Holy Spirit. So in visions, it can stand for the Holy Spirit, angels or guides, though it usually shows up as the white dove of peace. Gray is a color of confusion or uncertainty though, so in this case, I think your guardian angel or guiding spirit is trying to get through to you, and you are either uncertain of your visions or you have not been paying attention.

I really love Doreen Virtue's writings on angels. I highly recommend any of her books, especially the Connecting With Your Angels Kit or Divine Guidance : How to Have a Dialogue with God and Your Guardian Angels. In the meantime, I highly suggest that you start writing down your dream and vision experiences in a journal. Do daily or twice daily meditations. Just listen and pay attention to the messages, coincidences and impressions that come to you. Let me know what happens ... I would love to know what you see next.

Brandi

I have always had very strange experinces and learned I was a medium. I don't wanna be a medium. I wanna be something else. Is it possible to lose your gifts.

Andrew

I suppose it may be possible to lose one's gifts. I have heard of this on occasion. It's relatively rare, and usually happens when someone abuses their gifts for greed or power over others. There seems to be something like a "safety valve" built into most people to keep us from abusing others. However, this is not universal. I know of some pretty nasty people who have pretty strong psychic abilities. But I don't think this is what you are getting at. If I understand your question, you just don't want to be psychic at all. You want to "turn it off". Am I right about that?

Well, the tough answer is that there is no simple, quick and easy way to "turn it off" for most people. If I knew of a way to do that I could probably make a ton of money, because most of the folks who come to my site feel as you do. For every person who is searching the Internet looking for ways to boost their psychic powers, I think there are probably a dozen or so looking for a way to turn it off at will - and the faster the better. Unfortunately, turning it off takes some time and commitment. Because I won't fudge on that point, I think I sell a lot less books than I might do otherwise . You can try to ignore it, but it will sneak in, stronger and more insistent, until you start to pay attention. And if you give in to fear of it, sometimes the experiences get more insistent and frightening.

This may not be what you want to hear. It may sound strange to you. But if you want to come to peace with this, the first step is to accept it. The second is to embrace it. When you do that, the troubling aspects of it will change dramatically. It will turn from a curse into a blessing. If you start with journalling your experiences and meditating on a daily basis you will find that you gain a lot of peace of mind, and insights that you can use to greatly improve your life.

If you have other specific questions, or I have misunderstood your question, please let me know.

Brandi